Tag Archives: bitch bitch bitch

Pain is exhausting

I’m not sure what did it. Maybe it was Sunday’s hafla, although I took pains to not overdo myself, but Monday became the start of a painful week. Actually, it was probably me telling my doc on Friday that my hip hasn’t been bugging me that did it.

First, the hafla went great. I had people telling me that I look really relaxed when I dance, and that’s something I’ve been wanting to work on. I’m really glad I edited my piece too, there were a lot of kids there, young ones too. I spent a lot of time on the side playing and dancing with them, and keeping an injured friend company.

But yeah, Monday started off okay but as the day went on and I had no painkillers, I finally said screw it and left work early and went straight for my stronger painkillers. Tuesday was better, but it was constant enough that I came home and slept before doing anything. Class the next day was perfect, but I’ve been stiff since.

Part of it is that I’ve been stupid enough to have inflammatory foods. But I’ve certainly slowed down this week, which is good in one respect, but not so much if you look at my house. Combine that with a truly aggravating situation with my pharmacy not giving me my medication, so I was taking less effective old pills for much of this week and I have been slow, unfocused and just truly out of sorts.

I’m almost done making my cut for the showcase performance. I just have to do a little fiddling with the fade at the end, so that it sounds intentional. I want to get my fiddly stuff done while my hip is acting up so that next week I can start the choreography process.

It’ll get better. It always does.

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Posted by on September 2, 2011 in Uncategorized



A leftovers sort of day…

The past week has been weird. I cleaned and decluttered a bit in the living room and kitchen this week in a fit of excess energy on Monday. I also began walking on my breaks at work, which I’m crediting for my energy  bursts. So, that’s going pretty well. Husband is feeling pretty whelmed about actually having students. He’s going do  just fine. Both sisters in law have started their new jobs, and they range in their feelings on them.

But the week has also just been weird. We got a parking ticket for blocking the sidewalk (at 4:45 in the morning!)  in our driveway. Hopefully, we can get the garage cleaned out and park at least one of the cars there. instead. Maybe even two! Also, earlier that day, I was stuck behind a yacht when all the stoplights went out on the busiest street in Bloomington.

Also, husband’s old job forgot to process his paycheck for this week, and won’t do it until the next pay period. We will be tight for two weeks, but our buffer should cover it, plus he should be reimbursed for buying things for the classroom soon. But it sucks, because I need to pay for dance lessons and meds this week too.

And rounding up the leftovers for this week? Meds! Because my doctor refuses to write me a 90 day script until I see her again. 1 month supply =$100, 90 Day = $100. I have an appointment made for tomorrow. Would have been nice of her to say the last time I requested the 90 days and she didn’t do it, but the pharmacy just did 3 at a time. As you can tell, I don’t like going to doctors when I’m fine. My hip is doing well, I came out of a depressive episode really quickly, and my meds keep me nice and focused for most of the day.  I don’t have a need until I schedule my yearly stuff. Oh well.

But other than that, I’ve been doing well. I’m feeling pretty balanced, and I’m using improv as a daily devotional activity this week for Dionysos. Next week, it’ll switch to choreography in preparation for the student showcase. I’m improving at our hafla this Sunday, and hopefully, I won’t freeze in the middle of it!

And now, to go heat up leftovers for dinner!


Posted by on August 25, 2011 in Uncategorized


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I’m totally over having a summer cold. I’ve been miserable since Thursday, and my weekend went well only because cold medicine is effective. Today is the first day I haven’t drugged myself into submission.

I also totally gave it to my husband. Ha! That’s what you get for being attentive.

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Posted by on August 2, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Maintaining Radio Silence

So, I’ve been not updating for a while. Part was I was too angry to post. Yep, too angry. I’ve spoken before about how my husband and I live with another couple in a single family home, renting from the roommates father. We renewed our lease a couple of months ago, extending it out an extra month or two, hoping that this would be the last year in the house, perhaps even buying our own next year.

Well, this isn’t only our last year in the house, but our last couple of months. And not by choice. Our landlord informed us over email that his mother (roommates Grandma) would need a main floor place to live, and they wanted to move her into our house, and by extension the masters suite we rent. At first, it seemed we could say no, and we did a cursory look for apartments not really finding anything in our price range. When we said as much when we met with our landlord the next day, the tone change from a request to a demand. She was moving in whether we left or not. Which meant being forced out of our specified suite no matter what.

As you can tell, very illegal. Very unethical. We’re being treated like his children and not renters. We’re going to talk to get a timeline, get our security deposit back, moving costs, etc.  Husband really wants to ask for 5k as well, his estimate of the difference between getting a LKQ apartment/house and what we pay now for the remainder of our lease. Doubt we will get that, but it’s going to be a starting point.

They are treating us shitty, and we don’t really have respect for him anymore. We understand the situation. When it was just them asking, it was okay and while it would have been tense for the next year, we could have done it. Now? Who knows.  And it’s horrible timing for us; husband is frantically searching for a teaching job. He’s had a couple of interviews, but his search radius is an hour and half out. We’re open to moving outside of the city, but we don’t want to move one direction and then he gets a job in the other. And he’s not sure how long his current job will last, either.

I’ve got a couple of leads, but really, we’re very pissed off here and this is the first I’ve been able to write reasonably. The other reason? I was off having a blast at Tribal Revolution. But that’s another post.

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Posted by on June 28, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Why Hello There!

FreeJinger gave my blog the biggest one day hit counter ever. 73. If any of you stick around, I’ll be pleased as punch. Now I have new goal.

Let’s see, an update on my life:

  • I got a new shift at work, which is fabulous, and it starts Tuesday. We’re cutting back the department hours, which means the new people will have the same shift as well. My end time is now 5:30 instead of 7.
  • Speaking of work, I got promoted. It’s a pay grade promotion really, because they determined I was already doing the work of the next level of worker. It’s really awesome because they don’t usually promote until you’ve been there a year. I’ve been in the department 7 months.
  • Also speaking of work; we were this close to doing claims on ourselves. We spent the last hour of work hunkered in the basement of our Corporate Headquarters, hoping that a tornado didn’t hit us. I also had to convince a friend, via text, that driving to work while the sirens were going off was probably a bad idea.
  • I am far too happy about the blanket I bought for the bed. This is probably a problem showing that I should let myself decorate.
  • After the wardrobe purge has come the bookshelf purge. I’m still trying to sell off old D&D books, but we’ve packed up almost 50 books to go to goodwill.
  • We’ve had a houseguest for the past few days. Our friends car broke on the way home from California. When it broke, the nearest Ford dealership was in Joplin. For obvious reasons, he limped here instead. They are dragging out repairs and our friend is pissy about not seeing his kids in weeks.
  • Oven still doesn’t work, but at least our landlord worked on the lawn. It was looking a little abandoned.
  • Operation: CLEAN ALL THE THINGS is in full force, and I’ve kept the bedroom more or less spotless all week. Next is reshuffling books around and organizing some of the spaces. And, well, the rest of the house.
  • Working on digital clutter. This time it was my starred items in Reader. I took it from over 500 to 40. Most of those are long posts or recipes to try, so I’m working through them too.

Thinking about the next post for 30 Days of Paganism. I should just do a freewrite, because trying to structure them makes me angry and frustrated at the whole thing.

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Posted by on May 27, 2011 in Uncategorized


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Weekend Roundup

I was social this weekend. I stepped out of the Wedding Party trip to the Dells this weekend, partially because there wasn’t enough late night coverage at work and I thought we were moving floors on Friday (my move date is now Weds), and because, well, it was a little out of my budget. Instead, I used a gift card to Kohls and went shopping with two of my other friends. I did well, getting 5 new shirts and spending only 2.74 over my gift card, and getting the bra I needed at Lane Bryant for $25.

I’m cheap, and this was pretty much the only shopping I’ll do until next winter, unless I have a need rather than a gift card induced want.

But it was nice being girly with a couple of friends who don’t get to be that way very often. And not be shamed because I like being girly every so often.

I also made a great dinner: lemon cream pasta with chicken, with veggies. Enough for all the people who were over too. Our oven is still broken, so I can only cook on the range, but I’m trying for that to be enough.

Skipped practice. After being social Saturday, I just couldn’t do it and my body rebelled against it — although I did go out to eat with folks. Instead, I sat outside with the dog and read for an hour, then watched No Impact Man. It was good quiet time. I got a bit of a sunburn though, so I am very thankful that my bridesmaids dress has a shrug with it!

I did my normal Saturday and Sunday chores, but I also got to work on my decluttering project. I’m secretly go through my husbands clothes and getting rid of the worst of them, or putting the sentimental shirts that are actually just rags in storage. This week it was going through his sweatpants. Man has more clothes than me, but refuses to hang anything up, and then complains that he can’t fit everything in his dresser — and wants to keep the clothes in the laundry basket all week.

The laundry basket has another use though, and it is currently housing the big declutter project: bookshelves. I’m through 2/3 of the shelves and the basket is nearing full, just of my books that I haven’t re-read or used as reference in the past 5 years or so. Husband won’t let me touch his books, but that may change eventually. Once it’s full, I need to make a trip to goodwill with all the other donate-ables that I have assembled. I want nick to do the same, but it’s an uphill battle, so I’m doing just my stuff now.

My reading consumption is high this week, thanks again to the wonderous kindle and my paper book backlog.
On Kindle:
2 pagan books, mostly just as background community reading
Tailor Made Bride (I have this thing for Christian Romance fiction, since they are often free books on Amazon. I skip the Jesus, and the books from this publisher actually tend to have decent plots.)
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

On paper:
Dancing with Mister Darcy (short stories inspired by Jane Austen. Several were quite good, but it’s not a re-read. In the laundry basket it went)
Leviathan (I ❤ Scott Westerfield)
Whole Living Magazine

I am currently reading:
Sense and Sensibility
City of Bones

I have a huge backlog to attend to, and I keep downloading all the free shit I can from amazon, just not synching my kindle. I have one more book in my "friend-lent" backlog after I finish city of bones, and then I can assemble my own. It's exhausting…

I hope to get out more 30 days of paganism this week, depending on just how much behind we are at work, and what I need to get done before this wedding.

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Posted by on May 8, 2011 in Uncategorized


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A (mostly) rhetorical question

Is my medication worth it when, because it sometimes inhibits my appetite enough that I make sure I take a multivitamin, the combination thereof creates nausea that I just have to wait through, in exchange for the ability to function for an entire work day and spoons to use after work for cleaning/project work/making dinner?

It’s a silly question, because yes, it is worth it. But some days, when peppermint and ginger isn’t working to calm my stomach and food seems like the worst idea ever, I wish I had the sort of ADHD that responded well to a change in diet. That just seems like it would be so easy. I tried it before, of course, but I ended up using all of my attention span on the diet and that’s really just counter-productive.

Okay, this really is just a disability rant, because it seems like my life is entirely a tradeoff. Medication makes the difference for me most of the time — I do well for a time without it, but slowly, my reserves are ate up by living and I break down for weeks. On medication, if I have a problem like that, it’s much easier to build them back up. A day or two. I only have bad days a few times a month rather than a few times a week. Sure, I still have things I need to work on (building routines, breaking bad habits, my laziness which I’m sure is genetic) but I can work on those on the more frequent good days.

However, I don’t always eat and I just feel sick until midafternoon. I occasionally have days, like Saturday, where if I have another minor ailment, I shut down. And because I don’t eat and I don’t know what days those will be, since I don’t eat much breakfast anyways, I take the vitamins, which make it worse.

So, there’s my rant for the day. Right now, meds are the line between productive; functioning (and I can afford them) and not being able to function. So I’ll take them, even though the major side effect sucks.

(you know what side effect doesn’t suck? When they say “sexual side effects” in strattera, in women, it tends to be a higher libido and a lower, ahem, threshold.)

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Posted by on April 5, 2011 in Uncategorized



Not ded yet

I just started a new job at work. And it’s very different from the one I had before. I don’t take a hundred calls a day and be screamed at, thank goodness. Nope, now I get to shop and get prices to replace things people lost in fires, thefts or other insurance nightmares. It’s more laid back, but it does have a few stresses for me. I’m a morning person, and my shift doesn’t start until 10:45. I am, more or less, physically incapable of sleeping past 7.

What this means for me, is developing a whole new routine. Since this was my first week at these hours, I’m still working it out, I’m waking up around 7, eating a piece of fruit and some water and going for a quick, half hour bike ride. Next week, I want to add in a morning ritual as well. Then, I can really be on the ball for my pledge I made awhile back.

The other stresses of my job? For the love of all that is whole, I need to do an inventory. In fact, you all do. Go, do one now! You don’t want to wait until your dwelling has burned to the ground to figure out what you own. Or someone breaking in. Or a lightning strike. Or a burst pipe. You kinda get the picture, right? And if you don’t have renters insurance, please do so. It’s cheap and well worth it if you own anything in your apartment/house.

Life wise — we went through a scare where I had to ask my parents for money, since husband could not work with his broken hand. It was almost amusing that he cashed the check, got his cast off and got a job all on the same day this week. It’s a 3 month, seasonal job preparing trees for winter for a biotech company on government contract. It’s well-paying, 24 hours or so a week and flexible with his class. Hopefully, he’ll be able to go straight from this to finding a teaching position.

October is shaping up to be a much better month for me. I have a fighting event, two weddings and two fundraisers I’m going to, and possibly a dance workshop. Things look like fun and slightly exhausting. I also want to do the 30 days of Paganism blog meme that is going around, here and at my dreamwidth. I’m formulating what mine looks like first, and hope to start in the next couple of days.

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Posted by on September 30, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Despite the pain

Despite staying home with pain (I got my leg just loose enough in the morning to stretch it out. And The vicodin/ibuprofen mix I’m trying tonight is working much better) I managed to get myself fed and two important things done: Laundry and a blink and you missed it Noumenia.

I did, at least, pick flowers from the garden myself as an offering. Happy New Year, y’all. I need to get my festival calendar straightened out very very soon.

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Posted by on July 12, 2010 in Uncategorized


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Things that make me upset

…planning for a deipon, and then not being able to move due to chronic pain injury. Hopefully, tomorrow I’ll recover enough for a nice Noumenia for the Hellenic new year. Which means another year where I try to actually follow a ritual calendar again.

Perhaps, if the painkillers actually start working and I can think a little clearer (or loopier, since it is vicoden), I can start working on determining what my calender is this year. I really want to simplify it. Noumenia, for certain. Dionysos offerings for certain. Perhaps at least once a month a more general offering to all the Gods. Then the festivals I connect with. That sort of thing.

Also, I’m actually worried: The docs always asked me if I my toes were numb. Well, they aren’t numb, but they are tingling. And my ankle hurts … considering that my injury is in my hip, that’s not a good thing.


Posted by on July 11, 2010 in Uncategorized


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