Halfway through and I’m falling behind again. But this is actually somewhat of a fun story.
As is probably pretty easy to tell, I grew up Catholic. My split happened when I was 13/14, like a lot of people, and it was partially teenage rebellion, but also because I didn’t grok Original Sin. I still don’t. At the time, I was a regular in a chatroom for sci-fi/fantasy fans and I learned about “Wicca” and paganism from some of the other regs. I got book recs and stuff from them, but if you are only as good as your teachers, well?
Okay, it was like 13 years ago. If you remember the internet back then, you know what websites were around, and what quality they had to offer. I may be smart, but I was in high school. Everyone is a little stupid in high school. I called myself Wiccan sometimes, pagan most of the time. I got into arguments about my pentacle with administration. I may have come back by writing well-researched essays, but still, high school is idiotville. At the time, I was pretty soft polytheistic, non-deity specific, and really just rather wishy washy.
I amassed a small library, with what little money I made from work and stumbled into better areas of paganism. I didn’t connect well with the generic form of Paganism often presented in 101 books, and really not with the God and Goddess cycle presented. I pick up mythology books and start reading.
In college, I get the idea that maybe what I’m missing is a single pantheon. The web had started to grow and I met more dedicated recon-types and I figured that I needed a focus. I continued studying mythology and decided to try reaching out to pantheons instead. Do a load of research and then a ritual in that “style” to see what happened, that sort of thing.
I first figured, “well, I’m German. Let’s try Asatru!”, and tried the mythology on for size. It baffled, bored and annoyed me, so it was little surprise when I started trying to make contact that the response I got back was rather indifferent. Nothing at all. I’ve tons of friend who are some sort of heathen and I’ve never had a glimmer of interest since.
I did much the same when doing a foray into Celtic and Irish Paganism. The myths made no sense to me, all the different cycles never fit for me. And when I started making contact; I did actually make contact. I’ve a friend who believes that the Celts are a closed culture and he laughs whenever I tell him this story. The contact I got back was “Oh, how cute you are. You aren’t ours, but aww, cute little mortal.”
From there I decided to go back to my childhood love, Hellenic/Roman and well, that’s where the rest of these 30 days comes into play, doesn’t it?