A (mostly) rhetorical question

05 Apr

Is my medication worth it when, because it sometimes inhibits my appetite enough that I make sure I take a multivitamin, the combination thereof creates nausea that I just have to wait through, in exchange for the ability to function for an entire work day and spoons to use after work for cleaning/project work/making dinner?

It’s a silly question, because yes, it is worth it. But some days, when peppermint and ginger isn’t working to calm my stomach and food seems like the worst idea ever, I wish I had the sort of ADHD that responded well to a change in diet. That just seems like it would be so easy. I tried it before, of course, but I ended up using all of my attention span on the diet and that’s really just counter-productive.

Okay, this really is just a disability rant, because it seems like my life is entirely a tradeoff. Medication makes the difference for me most of the time — I do well for a time without it, but slowly, my reserves are ate up by living and I break down for weeks. On medication, if I have a problem like that, it’s much easier to build them back up. A day or two. I only have bad days a few times a month rather than a few times a week. Sure, I still have things I need to work on (building routines, breaking bad habits, my laziness which I’m sure is genetic) but I can work on those on the more frequent good days.

However, I don’t always eat and I just feel sick until midafternoon. I occasionally have days, like Saturday, where if I have another minor ailment, I shut down. And because I don’t eat and I don’t know what days those will be, since I don’t eat much breakfast anyways, I take the vitamins, which make it worse.

So, there’s my rant for the day. Right now, meds are the line between productive; functioning (and I can afford them) and not being able to function. So I’ll take them, even though the major side effect sucks.

(you know what side effect doesn’t suck? When they say “sexual side effects” in strattera, in women, it tends to be a higher libido and a lower, ahem, threshold.)

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Posted by on April 5, 2011 in Uncategorized



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